


Killing Me

by crowsanddreamers



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt!Wylan, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective!Jesper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10331978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowsanddreamers/pseuds/crowsanddreamers
Summary: While Jesper slips and goes to feed his addiction at one of the gambling dens on East Stave on what should have been a mission, Wylan gets hurt by Van Eck's thugs. Heartbroken, Jesper has no one to blame but himself as he watches the Wraith heal his merchling.10 May: Part 6 now up!





	1. Chapter 1

Killing Me

by: CrowsandDreamers

Though the plague outbreak had closed down most of the rich parts of Ketterdam, the Staves had for the most part returned to all their decadent glory in no time. Jesper could hear the music from the brightly lit taverns, the gambling dens and the few pleasure houses that had not been hit by the sickness. Jesper knew it was all an illusion, a ruse planted on the poor distraught denizens of Ketterdam, concocted by the genius that was Kaz Brekker. All as a distraction to rescue Kuwei. And rescue him they had; with their coffers now overflowing with the money Jesper thought was long overdue.

He felt his lips curling upward into a devious grin as he exited one of the gambling dens, because now he could actually afford to assuage his addiction. But his adrenaline had quickly died down. Like a firework, Wylan’s face, popped into his mind, his bright blue eyes wrought with concern, his beautiful mouth turned downward displaying a look that was sheer disappointment. 

Shrugging on his coat, the Zemeni boy sighed. It was long time to go home and face his lover. 

It was only supposed to have been a short trip to East Stave to purchase some of the gambling dens that had originally been in the ownership of Pekka Rollins to ensure he wasn’t able to rebuild. Instead the trip just ended up feeding Jesper’s gambling addiction once more.

 _Yeah. Wylan is not gonna be pleased._ He thought miserably as he began the long, dreaded walk home.

_My dad was right. He’s way too good for me._ Wylan had put his trust in Jesper and only a few months into their relationship, Jesper had already let him down. Using his money to gamble the night away. 

Jesper was surprised to find the door opening before he even had a chance to unlock it. A gaunt-faced servant ushered him inside immediately and Jesper raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what the hell was going on. 

That was when he heard the sound. A pure, heartwrenching, pain-stricken cry coming from somewhere upstairs that lodged deep into his heart and twisted. Like one of the Wraith's knives. 

_Wylan._

He rushed upstairs nearly knocking a servant over on his way as his long legs took three steps at a time. 

The door was open; Inej already at the door before he could even fully began to grasp the situation. 

Her deep brown eyes were brimming with worry. “Jesper,” she breathed and when he looked down at her, he saw blood on her hands. “It’s Wylan, he-“ 

But Jesper was already pushing her out of his way as Inej made a dash for the bed. 

In that instant, Jesper felt his world shatter. The merchling, Wylan, was lying on the satin bedspread, blood staining the cream-coloured sheets a dark red and there was so much of it. Wylan’s bright blue eyes were half closed, and from what little Jesper could make out, they were clouded with pain, his red-gold curls were matted to his forehead and neck with sweat and his breathing was hitched and uneven. Jesper’s eyes wandered downward to the blood pooling from his side. 

And Jesper was falling to his knees, unable to even comprehend the situation at hand, his dark grey eyes already blurring, his throat and heart clogged up with tears that he refused to let fall for Wylan’s sake. 

"Merchling…” He let out a harsh breath. “Wylan…” Jesper reached out a trembling hand, almost afraid to touch him in fear of causing him more pain. He settled for taking Wylan’s clammy hand instead, lacing their fingers, Wylan’s pale ones in Jesper’s dark ones. 

Closing his eyes, he pressed a kiss to his knuckles before turning to Inej who stood silently, her posture tense. 

“What happened?” Jesper practically demanded. 

“Van Eck. Some of his thugs who are still loyal to him attacked him when he went looking for you.” 

Jesper cursed. “I am gonna kill them when I find them.” But he was shaking his head even as he said the words. It was Jesper’s fault Wylan had been bloodied up. If he had just done his job as Wylan asked him to and came home when he was supposed to without any dangerous detours, Wylan would not have been in the state he was in. 

Inej was hovering over Wylan, pressing a cloth stained with Wylan’s blood to the wound in his side. “I’ve managed to staunch some of the blood flow but we don’t have Nina or her skills here so we’ll just have to make do. I have a salve Nina gave me for emergencies but it’s extremely painful.” She cast a nervous glance at Wylan whose breathing was getting shallower by the minute. 

“What’s it do?” Jesper asked, not taking his eyes off the younger boy. 

“Helps heal faster.” Inej wasn’t waiting for Jesper’s response. She was already pulling out a small brown container and unscrewing the lid. 

“Then do it. Just help him, please.” He felt the slightest touch from Wylan, the merchling’s fingers attempting a weak squeeze as if trying to reassure Jesper it was alright. 

Jesper wanted to shoot himself in the foot. Maybe in the heart just so he would be saved from the pain of having to watch Wylan suffer as a result of his own selfishness and stupidity. 

Tonight after many nights, Jesper had been weak, allowing the dazzling allure of the brightly lit, rowdy gambling dens to call to his heart in a longing way he hadn’t felt in a while. 

And his selfishness had cost him. Dearly. 

As Inej spread shimmering green paste on her bronze-coloured fingers, Jesper leaned forwards, his lips close to Wylan’s ear, his other hand still securing Wylan’s tightly in his own. “I’m so sorry, Wy. I’m-“ his breathing hitched, sorrow and pain for the other boy dragging at his heart, his throat clogged up with tears. 

He didn’t get to finish for a shattering scream came from the broken boy on the bed that lodged into his heart, splitting it in two. 

“Jesper!” Inej was frantic beside him, her fingers covered in green that caught the light of the lamps. “Hold him down. Or comfort him somehow, distract him but I need to do this or he’ll bleed out.” 

Without letting go of Wylan’s hand, Jesper reached out to cup the other boy’s wet cheek. Wylan’s eyes were screwed shut against the onslaught of pain. “Hey, look at me. Wylan. Please.” He swiped a finger under Wylan’s eye and could see just a hint of pure blue, like a cloudless Zemeni sky. A tear slipped from the merchling’s eye and Jesper felt his heart break all over again. “I’m here; I am not going anywhere. Just hang on a bit longer please." He brushed Wylan's tear away with his thumb. "Come on, Wy, you’ve been through so much already. You can do this.” And it was true. Wylan had suffered so much, under his ruthless father, the Ice Court and the latest events since their return to Ketterdam. He’d even taken a brutal beating by two members of the Dregs to oust his father to the Merchant Council. 

A scream tore once more from Wylan’s lips but he tried to remain as still as he possibly could. 

By the time Inej would be done, Jesper didn’t think he had any more of his heart left. But Wylan’s face, although pained, was determind, his beautiful eyes were shining with tears he refused to let fall. For Jesper. The other boy could see what his predicament was doing to the Zemeni boy. 

_Damn you and your selflessness._ Jesper cursed to himself. 

The sharpshooter didn’t care if Wylan cried. Hell, he didn’t care if he screamed and the stadwatch came running. Jesper would never think any less of him. He cursed himself for being the weak one as his eyes betrayed him and the first tears fell, dripping down onto the boy beneath him. 

“Where were you?” He could barely hear it; Wylan’s voice was so soft, so quiet, Jesper thought he had imagined it. 

But when he met the merchling’s eyes again, they were a bit clearer though Jesper could still see the clouds of pain in them. 

“I got held up.” Jesper found himself half lying. He knew they would have to have this discussion sooner rather than later, but he didn’t think he could bear to have this conversation now, to let his boyfriend know he let him down, that he failed them and that it was entirely his fault for Wylan getting hurt. 

Wylan’s eyebrows raised, a question forming in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Maybe he’d been too exhausted or maybe he already knew. 

That was why he’d come looking for him. Wylan never went to look for him during any venture he sent him on. 

If Jesper had any pride left, it was currently lying in shatters right along with his mess of a heart on the floor. 

The Wraith had already packed up before Jesper even realised it. 

She stood anxiously at the doorway, her dark eyes flitting between Jesper and Wylan. 

“I’ll come back to check on him tomorrow. Make sure he rests.” 

Jesper turned to her. Her eyes were questioning, her mouth partially opened as she was about to say something and then she shut it, shaking her head. 

She must have known too. She was the Wraith after all and Saints, what would Kaz think or even do when he found out? Although Jesper was no longer part of the Dregs, he knew that Kaz would come down on him anyway. 

Inej was gone and Jesper had turned once more to Wylan. His eyes were closed, his expression weary with fatigue. His breathing was still laboured but it had gotten easier since Inej had applied the salve. 

Jesper sighed as his eyes drifted to the bandages. 

__You’re going to be the death of me._ _

With once glance over Wylan just to make sure there weren’t any injuries Inej might have missed, Jesper shrugged off his coat, followed by his suspenders and shirt, discarding them onto the floor before climbing into bed beside Wylan, careful not to jostle him. 

As he reached over and turned off the light, settling into the bed beside the smaller boy, he felt Wylan shift and then his head nestled into the crook of Jesper’s neck. 

The sorrow and shame became an ocean, crashing waves threatening to pull him under. 

Wylan’s curls brushed against his neck as his head turned, lips nearly brushing Jesper’s skin. 

Jesper sighed, securing an arm under and around Wylan, careful not to brush his injured side. 

_Ice Court may not have killed me. The Barrel may not have killed me. But you definitely will, my merchling._ Though Jesper could feel his lips curling upwards into a ghost of a smile as he closed his eyes, pulling Wylan closer to him. 

They still had to talk about tonight’s events and Jesper would find those thugs of Van Eck and shoot them in more than one place but for now, he could rest just a bit easier knowing Wylan would be alright. 

Just as his eyes closed, pulling him into Neverland, he felt the faintest brush of lips against his skin. 

Yep. The boy was definitely killing him. 

But Jesper would be damned to say he cared. 


	2. Heart Cracked In Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 updated: Jesper doesn't think he can bear the disappointment from Wylan, on top of the shame he feels after what he did...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your reviews especially to LadyofHeart and Joanwatsvn. 
> 
> I am also the author of my own published YA/fantasy series. Ask me in the comments or I'll just post the title in the next part coming tomorrow. It's currently out in ebook and will be available in print soon!
> 
> Also, I apologise in advance for the tears and angst in this chapter.

Part 2: Heart Cracked in Two

It was barely dawn, the horizon’s edges just turning pinkish gold when Jesper was awoken by a soft moan and the faintest trace of his name.

The Zemeni boy stirred, his eyes half lidded, sleep clinging to his mind like cobwebs. 

“Jes…Jesper,” he heard and felt the boy shift beside him, burying his neck into Jesper’s neck, reddish gold curls tickling his skin. 

Jesper’s mind was still groggy from sleep but he opened his eyes, blinking in the fading darkness. 

Before his grey eyes could adjust, he heard another soft whimper escape Wylan’s mouth. 

Jesper shut his eyes again, thinking he must still be caught in some terrible nightmare. He remembered the dark red blood, Wylan’s blood, seeping through his white shirt to stain the bedsheets around him, his bright blue eyes usually so full of a quiet intelligence had been clouded with pain and then there were the screams that left Jesper’s heart in shatters on the floor.

He felt hands grasping at his skin and then another soft cry of Jesper’s name.

“Jesper.” It sounded desperate and weak and so unlike the merchling.

Jesper’s eyes snapped open as the horrible visions came to his frazzled mind once again. When he looked down at the boy whose face was buried in his neck, one hand grasping onto Jesper’s arm while the other searched blindly for the other boy’s, Jesper realised it had not been a nightmare.

“Merchling…Wylan,” Jesper spoke gently, as he took Wylan’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.

When Wylan’s face moved away from Jesper’s neck to look at him, he saw his eyes were dark and unfocused.

Jesper sat up, switching on the lamp even though daylight was fast approaching now, the sky turning from a deep pink to an autumn apple gold.

“Wylan,” he slid a hand across Wylan’s pale cheek as he hovered uncertainly over the smaller boy, concern etched in his features. 

Wylan’s hand moved down to grasp at the white bandages Inej had secured around his torso, and Jesper felt his heart breaking all over again. The boy began to pull at the bandages and Jesper grasped his other hand, halting his movements before he hurt himself any further.

Holding both of his hands, the Zemeni boy leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Wylan’s damp forehead.  
Just then, Wylan’s eyes open, clouded blue usually so full of light and life, but were now dull, stared into Jesper’s grey ones.

Though pain was evident on his features, his lips moved, speaking so quietly Jesper had to lean down to be able to hear him. “Why were you gone for so long?”

The question was like a knife to his heart. Shame crawled over him like an ice cold bucket of water, and Jesper was drowning in it. He looked away from Wylan, unable to meet his eyes then; seeing the pain in his boyfriend’s eyes had already been too much, he didn’t think he could handle seeing disappointment there as well. 

“Jes…” Wylan pleaded, his pale, clammy fingers gently squeezing Jesper’s own dark ones.

Jesper brushed his lips against Wylan’s knuckles, but he still couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Maybe you should try to go back to sleep. It’s still pretty early and we have a meeting in the afternoon I can take care of if you want.” Jesper’s gaze was on the window, the brightening golden light finally making an appearance. It reflected off the canals, giving the water a glittering sheen before it peaked shyly into the room they shared, dancing over Wylan’s reddish gold curls.

Ghezen, he was beautiful and Jesper was far from deserving of him. He remembered the first time only a month ago when they first made love. Wylan’s damp curls pressed against his forehead, his blue eyes looking at Jesper with wonder and pure ecstasy, his lips curling upward into a mischievous smile as Jesper hovered over him, looking at him with his razor sharp grin, their bodies slick with sweat. That was the first time doubt had crept over him, the first time Jesper thought he was unworthty of the smaller boy who lay beneath him, who had put his faith and trust in him like no one else had before. Not even Kaz.

Jesper sighed, shaking his head. Pressing one more kiss to Wylan’s hands, he let them go before running a hand through his dark hair, mussing it up.

Stretching his long limbs, he stood up and chanced a glance at Wylan. His eyes were half lidded, weary with fatigue and pain, but they were looking at Jesper with a question in them.

Jesper sighed and rose to his feet. “Get some sleep, Wy. I’ll be back soon.”

He felt rather than saw Wylan’s eyes following him. “Jesper, where…”

Jesper halted at the doorway, still unable to look at Wylan, his fingers itching for the doorknob but not wanting to leave the boy alone and in pain worst of all. Nonetheless, he didn’t deserve to be in Wylan’s presence right now, not after what he’d done. Not after what had happened to the merchling as a result of Jesper’s own stupidity, pride and recklessness.

He was out the door before he could change his mind.

 

Outside, the garden was awash in bright colours, pink and deep violet hyacinths, white and purple crocuses, nodding golden and pale daffodils. 

Jesper inhaled the crisp morning scent mixed with the perfume of the flowers.

His fingers itched for his pistols, wanting to shoot at something but he’d left them in the house, along with Wylan. He really wanted to leave for just a moment, take a walk, swim in the dirty canals, target practice perhaps on the assholes who hurt Wylan, but knew he couldn’t leave the boy alone in this state. The servants were around probably getting ready for the day ahead, or tending to Marya, but they couldn’t be relied upon if Van Eck’s thugs came calling again.

Jesper thought of fetching someone to get Inej as he paced the garden; she would definitely be awake by now. Probably scheming something with Kaz.

The sharpshooter heaved a sigh, running his hands over his face. The house felt suffocating, he couldn’t go back in there, not with Wylan looking at him like he knew where he’d been without Jesper even having to explain, pain laced with disappointment dancing in those perfect wide sky eyes.

They would have to talk, but not now. Making up his mind, he went back to the house to call for one of the servants. A plainly dressed, kind-faced girl approached him the minute he opened the door.

“Mister Fahey,” she said.

“I need to get out. Just for a few minutes. Can you call for Inej Ghafa at the Slat to come see to Wylan. I know it’s early but I have some things I need to do…” he trailed off. The servant nodded, calling to another one of the servants, this one male who was already shrugging on his coat.

“What should I tell Master Wylan?” The girl asked.

Jesper hesitated as he shrugged on his coat. “Tell him I will be back in half an hour. I just needed to clear my head.”

She nodded before making her way back up stairs to Wylan’s room.

Jesper opened one of the mahogany drawers and retrieved his pistols, not the pearl ones but he settled instead for plain ones tucking them into his belt.

He glanced one look up the stairs where Wylan was lying in the bedroom they shared. He almost faltered , wanting to go back to his merchling, to make sure he was alright, to take away any pain he could through soft brushes of kisses against Wylan’s lips and skin. But knew at the same time, he wasn’t deserving of them no matter what Wylan thought. 

Hand on the doorknob, he exited, shutting the door behind him without looking back, his feet carrying him without much thought or precaution, to East Stave.


	3. Our Actions Have An Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3: Jesper wanders back to East Stave, running into more than just one kind of trouble...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and feedback again and for your interest in my novel.
> 
> My book is titled, Amaranth (Demon City Chronicles 1) and you can find it on Amazon. :)
> 
> Apologies again for the major angst in this chapter. I am not sure how I felt about this one as it was difficult to write fight scenes and I feel as if the characters are a bit OOC?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy and will maybe post a new chapter tonight if I have time.

The glimmering lights and the vibrant music as he entered the streets that made up East Stave called to Jesper and he felt the itch in his heart; his restless fingers that kept tapping on his pistols were longing for a spin at Makker’s Wheel. 

He knew he shouldn’t even be here but yet somehow, against his own will, his feet had ended up here anyway. He meant to go for a walk, he thought as he looked at a bunch of Barrel men entering a gambling den, their laughter and banter full of confidence, hoping for an easy win. So why was he here?

Jesper ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the thick strands, a groan escaping his lips as he followed the men. 

The den was full of Barrel people, all dressed in an odd assortment of fashion in all kinds of gaudy and flashy colours. For once, Jesper was glad he didn’t stand out like the rest and could just blend into the shadows if any of Kaz’s gang saw him here. Dressed in dark jeans, a navy blazer and white shirt, he gave off the appearance more of a wealthy merchant rather than a former Barrel criminal. 

His eyes scanned the room, looking for an empty seat at one of the card tables while at the same time, trying to decipher if there were any Dregs here. There weren’t.

Jesper rocked lightly on his heels, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the handles of his pistols. 

If Wylan saw him here again…His heart clenched tightly at the thought of Wylan, bright, intelligent Wylan with his unexpected courage and his wide, generous way of looking at the world. Jesper thought of his red-gold curls clamped to his skin whenever he was working on an experiment or in the hazy state after they made love, his delicate skin flushed and soft under Jesper’s gentle touch. Wylan, who was now lying at the home they shared, eyes dull with pain, each shallow breath and quiet whimper like a fresh wound to Jesper’s already broken heart.

And what had Jesper done? Left him with the Wraith, in pain and very much needing the older boy, while Jesper went to feed his so-called addiction. 

He knew it was selfish but Jesper didn’t think he could stand to see Wylan like that anymore, looking at him as if he knew where he’d been and he probably had. Wylan had looked at him with disappointment and pain painted on his face, although behind it all, Jesper could still see there was trust there. Wylan had trusted him despite what he’d done, and now Jesper had gone and was about to break that trust all over again.

Yeah. He was far from deserving of him and maybe Wylan would realise that one day and leave him.

But for now, Jesper could afford to dig himself deeper into the grave he’d made for himself, just once more.  
He was sitting at the card table, his face flushed and his eyes alight with a new hope as he shuffled a deck, his eyes flicking from the deck to the pile of kruege that lay in front of him. There was a bigger pile in front of the man next to him who reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke but that didn’t matter to Jesper. He could afford to lose now and play he would.

“I plunged that knife into that spoiled, pampered prince of Van Eck’s.”

Jesper froze, mid-shuffle. His eyes wandered to the two bruisers standing mere inches from his table, the bigger one with short, cropped hair was demonstrating the action of a knife going into someone while the other one laughed.

“Would’ve killed him if it wasn’t for Brekker’s girl. Damn girl is like a phantom. Didn’t even see her coming…”

Jesper had his guns drawn in less than a breath and he was out of his seat, stalking towards the men with a cold, dark fury blazing in his gray eyes. Rage built and coiled inside him like a snake, adrenaline rushing through his veins at the first sign of a fight. He remembered how much pain Wylan had been in, still was when he woke up this morning, clinging to Jesper like a lifeline, a brief respite from the haze of pain that threatened to overwhelm the smaller boy and these men were the cause of it. 

Jesper squeezed off a shot and felt the burst of satisfaction when the bullet hit its target and the man who had stabbed Wylan fell to the ground, blood leaking from a wound in his side. The other man turned to Jesper, a low growl escaping from his lips. Jesper fired another shot but this one missed, bouncing off the side of the wall. A couple of heads turned and a few people had stood up, some began rushing towards the doors while others watched on eagerly.

The man whom Jesper had fired at was stalking towards him but before Jesper could even get off a shot, two men came from behind him, one seizing him from behind, pinning his arms behind his back, making Jesper drop his guns. He struggled, a string of curses flying from his mouth but the man was bigger, more muscled than the skinny farmer. 

Jesper’s eyes blazed, his guns laying uselessly on the dirty tavern floor. A crowd had formed to watch. The man Jesper had shot had managed to stand up, his big burly hand trying to staunch the blood flowing from his side, while anger burned in his eyes.

He managed to grin at Jesper who struggled against the other man’s hold. “I should’ve made that boy suffer, cut him up slowly and watched the bastard as he cried for his boyfriend.” The others laughed. 

Jesper struggled. “’Son of a bitch, I’ll kill you for what you’ve done to him. I’ll put a bullet right through your black heart so saints help me.”

“Not much of a fighter, is he? Couldn’t have taught him how to fight or is he just too busy looking pretty?” The man continued to taunt before delivering a fierce punch to Jesper’s gut.

“He’s way better than you.” Jesper spat, rage and anger and adrenaline burning through him like prairie fire. He was outnumbered but he’d be damned if he ever let any of these bastards lay a hand on Wylan again.

So Jesper concentrated, looking for any way out of this. The crowd was certainly useless, either backed towards the doors in case more bullets erupted or watching eagerly at the tables while some stood around Jesper and the men holding him. No one bothered to offer help.

There was no scrap of metal, nothing he could use he thought miserably but his concentration was shattered as another blow was delivered to Jesper’s gut, followed by another, bruising a rib. He lost all focus and began to slip into unconsciousness, as blow after blow was delivered to him and the crowd stood back and watched.

 

Jesper barely registered the blood dribbling down the man’s beck who had been beating him and he hardly felt the fall until his useless limbs connected to the floor, a cry of pain escaping from his lips as his bruised body hit the ground.

Shouting erupted and through his hazy vision, Jesper could make out more of those thugs falling to the floor as a flash of silver in the shape of a crow connected with one of the men’s jaw. 

Someone began pulling him to his feet. Jesper slipped but the grip on him was strong. The silver of his guns flashed at the corner of Jesper’s vision as he tried to lean down but someone beat him to it, picking up his guns before he even had a chance.

“Hey, what-“

That’s when he was met with the cold, steady gaze of Kaz Brekker, leader of the Dregs now and his best friend. 

Someone, he guessed Rotty, was holding him up. 

Shame and guilt replaced the adrenaline rush he felt moments ago and was now nothing more than a faint glimmer. He met Kaz’s dark gaze, and a word formed on his lips. “Wylan.”

“Inej is taking care of him.”

He signalled for Rotty and Specht to move, not sparing another glance at Jesper. The Zemeni boy willed his legs to move and slowly, they followed Kaz out, whispers and stares trailing after them. The thugs who had roughed Jesper up and hurt Wylan lay motionless on the floor, one had his throat cut while the others had limbs splayed at odd angles.

Just at the door, Kaz paused and turned to look at Jesper. “Thank Inej for arriving when she did.”

Jesper inhaled sharply. “Is he-?” He couldn’t even form the words. If Wylan had gotten hurt again because of him…

Kaz’s gaze was stone cold as he looked at Jesper while leaning on his cane. He didn’t answer, only turned around and began to walk, his crow’s head cane thumping on the ground. 

His heart plummeted. Wylan had gone and hurt himself again because Jesper was selfish and reckless enough to leave him there without even waiting for Inej because he was too much of a coward to face either of them.

They continued walking, Jesper leaning heavily on Rotty, his mind racing with thoughts mixed with horrible images of Wylan.

He urged his feet to move faster, to keep pace, to get to Wylan and make sure he was alright because saints help him if he wasn’t.

 

They had reached the house in no time, Jesper pushing himself away from Rotty making his way towards the stairs, when Inej stopped him midway.

Her gaze was hard and disbelieving as she looked him up and down. Somehow Jesper knew she figured where he’d been.

“Wylan-“

“You really don’t deserve him.” She said but stepped aside to let him pass anyway.

Her words were like a fresh stab wound to his already bleeding heart. Inej was looking at him like she lost all hope in him. She had never looked at him this way before. _Our actions have an echo._ Yet Jesper couldn’t stop repeating his mistakes, couldn’t heal the wound that was growing bigger despite the fact he had everything he ever wanted, despite the fact Wylan had given him more than he deserved.

“I know, Inej, _saints,_ I know.” He thought with anguish as he pushed himself up the stairs, feeling both Kaz’s ruthless, hard stare and Inej’s disappointed one digging bullet holes into his back.

The door slammed on its hinges as he made his way towards the room, nearly collapsing on his feet and grabbing the desk for support as pain shot up his bruised ribs.

But his own pain he could deal with, for what caught his attention on the bed was far worse than any beating he had taken tonight.


	4. Save You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wylan's fallen into a coma and Jesper and the gang must do what they can to save him before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4! Probably no updates till the weekend as I am busy with uni until then. Also, I love feedback and kudos especially since this was a difficult chapter to write and I still am not sure how I feel about it. I hope Kaz was at least in character?
> 
> Anyway, let me know your thoughts and enjoy!
> 
> Title belongs to one of my favourite songs by Simple Plan.

There had been only one time in his life when Jesper felt utterly and completely helpless. Only once.

That had been when he saw his mother lying in a fever-induced haze on her bed back on their Zemeni farm. Jesper had held her hand the entire night and fallen asleep next to her like that, until he was woken up the next morning by his father’s weeping.

“Da, was ma a witch?” Jesper had asked, feeling his eyes welling up as they buried her outside on the farm. The sun was shining brilliantly that day, not a cloud obscuring its splendour. It warmed Jesper’s skin and carried with it a faint breeze of wild summer roses that reminded Jesper distinctly of his mother.

His father turned to his only son, tears creating twin tracks down his pale Kaelish skin. “She was a queen, Jesper.”

Jesper stood next to his father, taking his hand. Colm grasped his son’s hand firmly in his own and squeezed. “She was our queen.”

Jesper knew then from his father, or perhaps he knew without Colm even having to say anything to him, that it was her power that had resulted in his mother’s untimely death. He’d heard of the Grisha in the weeks following afterward, how they were hunted and persecuted and how sometimes even when people attempted to use their powers for good, it would end in tragedy for the Grisha. Zowa was what his mother called them.

Perhaps that was the reason why Jesper had been so afraid to use his power and that restless pent up energy was instead used to feed a new addiction, one he discovered shortly after leaving his father’s farm. And one that he had been so sure he’d never return back to as long as he had Wylan by his side and Wylan’s trust and faith in him.

But he’d given in to the craving, the restless energy of a good spin on Makker’s Wheel or even shuffling a deck of cards in the dens and it had made that wound in his side, the one Inej mentioned he had, slowly get smaller until Jesper felt more at ease again.

Not that Wylan couldn’t calm that tension. Wylan was endlessly patient with Jesper, had soothed the Zemeni boy whenever he’d wake up from a nightmare with a gentle hand rubbing his back and kisses to Jesper’s shoulder, holding him until the terror dissipated. Wylan who had been careful only to give him small increments of money to test the markets and now when Wylan had trusted him with such an important business venture, thinking Jesper had been ready with a bigger amount of kruege.

And Jesper had crushed that trust in a matter of minutes.

Now, for the second time in his life, Jesper felt that grasp of helplessness as he looked at the smaller boy lying on the bed they shared, the sky in his eyes hidden away, while his breathing became increasingly shallower by the minute. 

He was covered in soft blankets that made his skin paler. Jesper was afraid to touch him as if he might hurt him more if he did. His fingers itched to take Wylan’s hand again, to offer him any small amount of comfort he could, to let him know he was there and that saints, he wasn’t leaving the boy again. Not now, not ever.

If Wylan still wanted him after all this.

The door creaked open and Jesper’s attention snapped to the person at the door, hands automatically going to his sides where he thought his guns would be.

He was on edge since he came back, his ribs screaming in protest with any movement he made while anxiety crept through him, thinking he’d run into Van Eck’s thugs once more.

It was only Inej. She hesitated by the door, her eyes flicking from Wylan lying unconscious on the bed to Jesper.

At least she wasn’t looking at him like he’d killed a puppy.

“What happened with him?” Jesper was almost afraid of the answer but he needed to know.

Inej chewed on her bottom lip, looking over at Wylan. Then she sighed. “He went outside to look for you, despite the fact he wasn’t supposed to move at all. The movement opened up his wound. I found him halfway down the street in a pool of his own blood, barely conscious. I called for a medick, but he…well, wasn’t able to do much for Wylan other than treat his injury.”

She looked away from Jesper at that moment, her gaze turning to the window, to the golden sun seeping through the glass and washing the room aglow. 

It had been well past noon. How long had Jesper been out?

He turned his attention back to Wylan; some of the sunlight had caught in his tangled, damp red curls, giving him the appearance of an angel. Jesper’s heart broke just a bit more.

“Is he gonna be alright?” Jesper asked, not turning his attention away from Wylan. 

This time there was no answer from the Wraith. 

Her silence had been enough and Jesper felt his throat clog up with tears again, his heart being strangled by sorrow and shame. He left Wylan and in doing so, had caused more hurt to the boy than he ever could have imagined. He swore violently, not caring Inej was right behind him, if she was still even there.

Jesper’s hands shook as he ever so gently took Wylan’s in his own, entwining their fingers together. Wylan’s skin was clammy and pale and Jesper barely felt the flicker of a pulse.

He inhaled sharply. “Saints, Wylan.” 

“Coma, that’s what the medick said,” Inej spoke softly, not having moved from her position by the door. 

The sense of helplessness mixed with guilt, sorrow and shame threatened to overwhelm the Zemeni boy. How could he have done this, to the boy he loved nonetheless. Wylan who would look for any excuse to steal shy smiles from Jesper whenever they’d been in a business meeting with the other merchants, Wylan who soothed away Jesper’s nightmares and believed in him like no one else ever had or could, Wylan who had seen the potential Jesper had with his gift and tried to get Jesper to be a little bit more comfortable with it, learning to use it instead of constantly running away. It had helped ease some of Jesper’s relentless energy and frustration sometimes.

“I’d say I am sorry but I don’t think I am deserving of that now,” Jesper spoke, his voice ragged and cracking.

Not caring Inej was there, Jesper moved to sit on the bed beside him. Every movement screamed in protest, his bruised ribs aching. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Wylan’s forehead, before he placed his hand over Wylan’s heart. The pulse had been faint but it still beat. The Zemeni boy took a deep, unsteady breath. “I love you, I am sorry I never told you before. But I love you, Wylan, everything about you from your brilliant brain to your stupid face. Ghezen, I love you.”

He took Wylan’s hand again, bringing it up to his mouth to press a furtive kiss there.

“That is why, merchling, you have to wake up. Because I need you to help me fight this whatever this is. We can do it together but I can’t—“ Jesper’s breath was coming out in frantic gasps now, choked with tears. He felt his vision spin and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. 

Inej was beside him. She didn’t say anything to him, just leaned down and touched his back gently, her hand steady. 

Her hand rubbed soothing circles into his back and it reminded him of Wylan doing the same on endless nights when Jesper woke from a nightmare. It made the sharpshooter sob harder.

“Breathe, Jesper. You’ll be of no use to him, to us, if you are in this state.”

Jesper forced himself to take a deep, steady breath, imagining it was Wylan coaxing him, Wylan holding him, his mouth close to Jesper’s ear, whispering words of comfort and telling Jesper to just _breathe_ because it was alright. Then, just like the first time they kissed when Jesper was in a restless, panic-induced state, and Wylan had kissed him the next moment Jesper took a breath, Wylan had done it all over again each time he woke up from a nightmare and started having an anxiety attack. 

So Jesper forced himself to breathe, to clear his frazzled mind in order to be able to help Wylan.

When he’d calmed down enough, he turned to Inej, swiping a hand across his face to wipe away some of the tears. “What are we supposed to do? I doubt even Kaz can help or come up with something in this situation?” 

“No, but I am sure we’ll think of something. We’ll send for Nina or go to Ravka if we have to.” 

Jesper was about to mention that Ravka was probably kilometres away and he wasn’t sure if Wylan had that long or would be able to survive the journey when Kaz appeared in the doorway, leaning heavily on his crow’s head cane.

His coffee-black eyes met Inej’s before turning his gaze onto Jesper.

“Actually, I do have a plan.”

Jesper’s brow shot up. 

“All the Grisha have been transported back to Ravka with Kuwei if you recall. And we can’t just put Wylan on a ship to Ravka to see Nina because it’s too dangerous. And what if he doesn’t-” He didn’t want to finish that thought. 

He took Wylan’s hand again, gently rubbing his fingers, his smile softening as he looked at the smaller boy, laboured breathing, skin pale as moonlight, curls damp with sweat but still beautiful nonetheless. 

_His stupid face._

“When you’re done gawking at him, meet me downstairs. We have to talk.”

Jesper scowled at him but nevertheless, pressed a small kiss to Wylan’s wrist, just right where his pulse beat faintly. Reluctantly, he let go of Wylan’s hand, placing it gently on the bed. “I’ll be back soon, merchling. Just hang on for me.”

After leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Wylan’s lips, he stood up to face Kaz. Inej was already gone.

He hesitated for a brief moment, his attention flicking back to Wylan, the restless tick in his fingers returning as he began to touch the leather holster at his waist where his gun always were.

“He obviously isn’t going to be getting up anytime soon so I don’t think anything drastic is going to happen to him while you’re gone for a few minutes.”

Jesper wanted to swing at him but Kaz was already out the door, the heavy thud of his cane echoing behind him as he went.


	5. Author's note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN

Sorry this is not a chapter and I won't be able to update until the weekend as I am busy with uni until then. I wanted to ask you guys if I should leave the story as it is or I was thinking of deleting chapter 4 and going with my original idea of having Jesper come home and Wylan and him having a "talk?" 

I feel like this story has lost its appeal so I'd appreciate any type of feedback, thanks!!


	6. Still Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesper and the crew set sail for Ravka to save Wylan before he runs out of time completely. On the way, Jesper is met with a little surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So sorry for the major delay; I've been busy with my Ph.D and that takes precedence. Plus, I've been reading as well. Just finished the Passenger duology by Alexandra Bracken which I highly recommend!
> 
> Here is chapter 5 finally! I hope you enjoy it and once again please leave me your feedback and thanks so much to those who left kudos and reviews especially Jessica and Kamekiryu! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter as I am not too sure about it. I hope it wasn't too sappy or anything?

Chapter 5

Jesper stared out over the horizon, the endless blue that extended for miles, unbroken, as if the sea itself had met the sky. They had set sail for Ravka a day ago and would be there in less than a week if the weather held.

Much to Jesper’s annoyance, Kaz didn’t have a quick plan that would save Wylan and thus, they were left with the only choice of sailing for Ravka, to where the Grisha and Nina could offer their healing powers to Wylan. Before they set sail, however, Kaz had managed to find the best medick who, although not a Grisha, did manage to help in some way. Wylan had lost too much blood and the medick suggested one of them volunteered to give him some. Jesper was the first to volunteer but when the medick took each of their bloods, he wasn’t a match but Inej was. She had given her some of her blood to Wylan, much to Kaz’s irritation and concern. But it hadn’t been enough.

With his elbows on the railing, he leaned over, the faint sea breeze carrying with it the smell of brine and fish.

He didn’t think he could stand another minute in the cabin with Wylan who had lay peaceful and barely moving, wrapped in a cocoon of white blankets, his skin clammy and ashen, his Zemeni sky eyes closed to the world, heart barely matching weak breaths that threatened to shatter Jesper’s already broken heart.

It was Inej who had suggested he get some air while she took vigil by Wylan’s beside.

How did he let things get so carried away, to the point that the boy he loved was lying on his deathbed all because of some stupid desire to play cards again, to try his luck one more time because the never-ending itch was there, just inches beneath his skin, and couldn’t be sedated not even by Wylan’s gentle touch or distractions which more often than not ended up with them making love.

He rubbed a hand over his face, wanting to scream or shoot someone, his fingers dancing over the smooth pearl surface of his guns.

“Jesper,” the voice broke out of his thoughts. Jesper sighed, and turned to face her with apprehension. He didn’t want to hear any more bad news. But to his surprise, Inej looked…well, almost hopeful.

Her lips curled upward into the smallest hint of a smile. Light danced in her dark brown eyes or maybe that was just the glare of the sun. He could feel Kaz’s eyes watching them from the other side of the deck. 

“Wylan’s awake.”

It was as if he was hearing the words through water, he couldn’t process them and had to ask again.

Inej’s bright smile grew. “He’s awake, Jesper.”

 _“Saints,”_ Jesper breathed and before Inej could finish, he was already running across the deck to the cabins below.

He nearly flew down the stairs, his long legs taking three steps at a time, in a haste to get to Wylan, to see his beautiful blue eyes, hear his voice again…

Saints, his prayers had been answered. He would be alright, he was awake.

But when Jesper got to his room, he paused hesitantly at the door. Wylan was awake but what if the blood loss had resulted in some sort of damage to his brain, what if he was clinging to the last bits of life and was fighting just to stay awake for a bit longer, for Jesper.

He swallowed, his heart in his throat. The sharpshooter closed his eyes and breathed sharply. When he opened his eyes, he was already stepping through the door and gazing down at the boy lying in the cocoon of sheets, his blue eyes staring intently at Jesper, his mass of ruddy curls damp with sweat but to his relief, his skin was no longer ghostly pale, colour returning to his cheeks at the sight of the Zemeni boy.

“Hi,” Wylan spoke, softly, his voice cracking the slightest.

Jesper’s eyes followed to where Wylan’s hand trailed down to what he must have guessed was his injured side; his thoughts were confirmed when a brief flash of pain flickered across his face.

“Hi,” Jesper’s voice shook as he met his boyfriend’s piercing, blue-eyed stare. He slowly walked over to him, hesitating when he reached the edge of the bed, unsure if he should sit down or remain standing. Jesper’s heart told him he wanted nothing more than to lay down beside him and hold the smaller boy but knew any movement on his part would just cause pain to Wylan, and that was the last thing Jesper wanted to do.

“Come here,” his voice was weak, barely above a whisper and Jesper had instantly dropped to his knees in front of the bed.

The smaller boy reached out a hand and Jesper caught it, interlacing their fingers. 

“How…how are you?” It was a stupid thing to ask, knowing how much pain Wylan must have been in but Inej’s blood had given him a bit of extra strength after all. He was eternally thankful to her. 

Wylan smiled warmly at him. “Like someone stabbed me…multiple times…” 

Jesper shook his head, feeling tears clogging up in his throat. “I’m so sorry…I…wasn’t thinking…I just…I ended up in East Stave and then there was the lights and the music and I thought I could prove to myself that I would only have one go, it’d be fine but I got carried away…”

He felt a silent tear slip down his cheek and Wylan’s gentle fingers wiping it away with the hand not holding Jesper’s.

“It’s okay, Jes…You slipped, everyone makes mistakes.”

Jesper ripped his hand away from Wylan’s, ignoring the hurt look that crossed the smaller boy’s face.

“How can you say that? I let you down, after everything you had given me, your love, your trust, a new home, a new life, a chance to make something honourable of myself…and I squandered it so much that it nearly cost you your life!”

Jesper was nearly shouting now, his hands shaking. Wylan moved, attempting to sit up but cried out in pain.

That small cry from Wylan, seeing the other boy’s eyes clenched shut in pain did it for Jesper. He began to shake, as the first tears fell and a sob escaped his throat. His whole body shook and he could feel the coming panic attack.

Wylan must have felt it too, because suddenly the other boy was grabbing his arm, pulling him down onto the bed with him. 

He took two fingers and tilted Jesper’s chin up, towards him. “Jes, look at me.”

Jesper wouldn’t, his eyes were shut, his breathing shallow as he forced himself to take a deep breath.

“Love, please.”

Finally, his eyes opened and he met Wylan’s blue stare, concern flickered across his face. “It’s okay, I forgive you. We’ll get through this together, just like you said." Jesper looked up at that. "I heard you when I was unconscious," the smaller boy smiled at him. "I’ll help you, I promise.”

Wylan’s hands gently wiped away his tears, even though Jesper could tell any movement, however, small, was causing him pain. 

The other boy was looking at Jesper with so much trust and love it nearly broke whatever was left of Jesper’s heart.

He laid down beside him and buried his face in Wylan’s neck. He felt Wylan’s hand bury itself in Jesper’s short hair, tugging his head up gently.

Before Jesper had a chance to react, Wylan was capturing his lips, wiping away all rational thought. And Jesper felt like they were kissing for the first time all over again, his body shutting down as he lost himself in Wylan’s mouth, his lips and teeth nipping at Jesper’s bottom lip. Jesper opened his mouth eagerly, and Wylan slid his tongue in, eliciting a groan out of the Zemeni boy. Jesper’s large hands reached up and cupped Wylan’s cheek, deepening the kiss.

It was over before he knew it, Wylan gasping for breath beneath him, pain flickering across his features once again but his eyes were bright and he was smiling, his cheeks flushed.

Wylan searched for Jesper’s other hand, the one not still cupping his face. 

Jesper found it, lacing their fingers once more before lying down beside him.

The smaller boy turned his head to face him. He looked exhausted, his skin had taken on a sweaty sheen and his breathing had become more laboured. Jesper instantly regretted the kiss, concern dancing across his face. “Wylan…” he stroked his cheek, his eyes questioning.

Wylan closed his eyes as his breathing became more laboured. “T’s okay…We’ll…through…together…” he barely managed out.

Reaching for the blankets, Jesper uncovered him and found a tiny streak of blood across the pristine white of the bandages. The wound needed to be closed shut and who knew what internal injuries Wylan had sustained. Closing his eyes, the sharpshooter sent out a prayer to whatever saints were listening to hurry to Ravka before they ran out of time…


	7. Ravka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies for the long delay! I was busy and then away on holiday and now I am back. Once again thanks to everyone for your comments and kudos especially to clearly_calah, Jess and Kamekiryu! <3

Chapter 6

 

Jesper woke up to shouting. He moaned and turned over in his bed, tossing an arm across his face. He was having a particularly nice dream about the merchling and whoever was disturbing him better had a good reason for it.

Something tugged at the blurred, sleep ridden edges of his mind, something unpleasant, but he was still too lost in the last vestiges of the dream that he didn’t really care.

Until the door to his tiny cabin burst open, the wood slamming hard against the wall, enough to jostle him out of sleep. Jesper instantly sat up, his fingers reaching for the pistol he kept under his pillow.

Surprise bloomed on his features as he made sense of who was stood at the doorway.

Nina’s eyes were like storm clouds, but her lovely, usually scowling lips were now turned into a frown, and he could make out just that bit of concern, a question in her eyes as she faced him.

“Nina…” It had been so long since he’d last seen the Grisha, so like him, the only other Grisha he knew, who understood what it was like to be hunted and feared for your unnatural abilities.

“Where is Wylan?” And that single name, like a sharp knife to his heart, had him instantly out of bed, and rushing toward the door. 

Wylan. How could he have forgotten the other boy lying in his cabin right across from Jesper’s, his beautiful blue eyes shut in pain as he fought his own injury which had nearly cost him his life thanks to Jesper’s own selfishness and stupidity.

Jesper was usually the first one up and checking on him, spending many nights restless and unable to sleep, worried about his boyfriend, while the others slept soundly. Except for Kaz, who had always been bizarre and abnormal in some way, watching him like a phantom in the shadows.

Now, as he strode towards Wylan’s door, he had found it already ajar, voices spilling out softly.

But Nina was blocking his way from entering.

She put both of her arms on either side of the door. “What happened? Kaz didn’t say much and Inej just said he was badly injured by his father’s cronies, and that he almost…” She bit her lip, searching Jesper’s eyes once more. He knew what she about to say, that Wylan had almost died thanks to the sharpshooter who should’ve protected him. Not that Wylan needed protecting all the time, as he was pretty impressive with his explosives, but this had been an uncalled for, surprise attack.

“Never mind, you’ll explain later.” Her voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. 

Jesper’s fingers stroked his pistols, impatiently, glancing to the door and then back to her. “Can you help him?”

Inej had appeared at Nina’s side, her face was grave. “Nina, we need to hurry. Wylan...he’s lost too much blood-“

Before she could finish, Jesper was pushing her out of the way and rushing into the room.

Wylan was sleeping, his eyes closed to the world, but there was pain written all over his face, pain in his hands that clutched the blankets, in the soft whimpers he let out.

And if Jesper had any piece of heart left, it was shattered at seeing the other boy.

“Merchling,” he breathed softly, hovering just above the bed, unsure if he should touch him, for fear of causing him more distress.

His eyes snagged on the hand clutching his side, and inhaled sharply.

“Nina!” He shouted. Wylan’s hand had moved and he was horrified to find it painted with blood, the white of the bandages already blooming red.

Nina and Inej both rushed into the room, Kaz following silently in their wake, leaning heavily on his cane.

Inej gasped, Nina covering her mouth before jumping into action.

“Right, we need to move him. Get him to the Ravkan infirmary, quickly.” She said, hurriedly.

Jesper fidgeted anxiously, unsure of what to do. He wanted to pick him up and carry him like they did when they first boarded the ship but moving him now may cause further damage…

Nina’s eyes met Jesper’s and understanding, Jesper leaned down and being as gentle as possible, slipped an arm under Wylan while the other went around his neck, slowly lifting him off the bed. An instant cry of pain escaped the other boy’s mouth.

Jesper had barely moved an inch, his knees now on the floor.

“Wylan…merchling,” he breathed softly. His eyes searched Wylan’s face, concern written all over it, while he stood as still as possible, a feat even for him.

But Wylan mattered more now. So the Zemeni boy did not move.

“Jesper…” Nina’s voice was filled with urgency and warning. Warning that they were running out of time.

But time be damned, if it meant causing Wylan further distress.

“He doesn’t have all day and quite frankly neither do I.” That was Kaz. Jesper’s eyes narrowed, wanting to shout at his friend but his focus and attention was entirely on the boy beneath him, inches off the bed, Jesper’s arms still under him.

The Zemeni farmer leaned down, lips close to Wylan’s ear. “I’m gonna have to lift you so we can get you help, okay?” 

No response from Wylan, sweat now glistened on his soft skin, a sign he was struggling, or saints, maybe a sign of fever which could only mean infection. 

Jesper willed himself to calm, swallowing hard.

“Can you hang on for just a bit longer? Please, for me?” 

“Jesper…” Kaz’s voice was full of warning. He ignored it.

Miraculously, through his haze of pain, Wylan nodded. Jesper's mouth curled into the smallest hint of a smile, his heart feeling just a bit lighter. 

He tried again this time, managing to lift him and into his arms, Wylan’s head burying itself in Jesper’s neck, silencing the cry against his skin.

“I love you,” Jesper leaned down, only so Wylan could hear.

The other boy stilled, and Jesper swore that despite the pain the younger boy was in, he could feel the tiny press of lips to Jesper’s skin.

"You will survive this, and we will get through this, just as you said and I--" his breath hitched as he looked down at the boy in his arms. "I promise I will be a better man, a better boyfriend to you." Wylan didn't reply, but the tiny second press of lips to the skin on Jesper's neck was answer enough. Cradling the smaller boy to his chest, he turned to the others. “Lead the way,” he said to Nina who looked from him to Wylan, before nodding.

 

The infirmary wasn’t too far away, just a few streets down, and while the others took in the sights around them, having never been to Ravka before, Jesper’s attention was only focused on Wylan, who had turned paler, his skin and curls covered in sweat. He could feel the younger boy’s shallow breaths against him, and turned to Nina, whose had been darting back and forth between the two of them.

She fell in step with Jesper, placing her hand on Wylan’s forehead. 

Alarm bloomed on her face. “We don’t have time to get to the infirmary. Set him down here.”

“What? But you said it’s just one more street…”

She was shaking her head. Inej, whose hand was in Kaz’s, stopped too, turning towards them.

Her expression was worried while Kaz’s face betrayed nothing, though his gaze lingered on Wylan.

Nina turned to Inej. “Go get Genya, she’ll be at the infirmary. Just down that street,” she pointed. “Hurry. Get bandages and blankets too. Genya will know what to do.”

Inej didn’t waste time before she took to the streets, her feet making no sound.

Kaz looked like he wanted to go after her but knew he’d be unable to catch her especially given his cane.

Jesper was reluctant to set Wylan down on the street but with one look from Nina, he knew he had no choice. 

The other boy cried out the minute his back touched the pavement, and Jesper refused to let him go.

Before he could protest, Nina was pushing him out of the way, ignoring Wylan’s cries, and focused solely on the task ahead. She ripped off Wylan’s bandages as he cried out, the blood flowing freely now.

Jesper turned a furious gaze toward her but she paid him no heed.

Her fingers danced inches above Wylan’s wound, the blood slowed momentarily as she concentrated, her eyes closed. 

Jesper sank to his knees beside him, taking Wylan’s hand.

Lifting it to his mouth, he pressed soft kisses to each finger, anything to calm the other boy or maybe he was just trying to calm himself, fix whatever was left of his heart.

Through the cloud of pain and Nina’s ministrations, Wylan’s eyes opened a fraction, fixing on Jesper.

“We’re gonna be just fine, you’re going to be just fine.” He promised, his voice shaky.

Wylan’s eyes shut again, another cry escaping his lips.

Beside him, he heard Nina curse softly. “Dammit, where is Inej?”

The wound wasn’t closing and he felt more than saw Nina’s frustration, the beads of sweat collected on her brow.

Without a word, Kaz took off down the street, the heavy thud of his crow’s head cane punctuating Wylan’s cries.


End file.
